Mom- Hey what does idk and ttly mean?
Son *I don't know* * Talk to you later*. Mom- No one does! I'll go ask your sister.

What's the difference between a hare and a rabbit?

You can pull a hair out of your arse but not a rabbit

when you go to a party find the ugliest girl and when she starts to look hot, go home, alone

I hate when I’m on the treadmill and my hand accidentally hits the stop button & I have to get off and eat a bacon grilled cheese sandwich.