My mom bought cheap toilet paper. Bad decision.
Now we got a real mess on our hands.

Sure Mexico, you may have temporarily stolen our crown as fattest country... but just wait until the Twinkies come back!

I exercise by running up the street knocking on all the doors.
Jehovah's fitness.

The most annoying people are those that are in exceptionally good shape at the gym. I'm like, "What are you doing here? You're done.."