Girl: "I wanna give you the best blowjob of all time!"

Me: "Really?"

Girl: "April fogwrhbrfv..."

I got pulled over by a sheriff today.

I noticed the cop was a woman, so I decided to take a chance and started to pull out my 9 millimeter.

But that just got me arrested for indecent exposure.

Ralph was driving home one evening when he suddenly realizes that it's his daughter's birthday and he hasn't bought her a present.

He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store and says to the shop assistant, "How much is that Barbie in the window?"

"Which Barbie?" the clerk says.

"We have Barbie goes to the gym, barbie goes nightclubbing, barbie goes to the ball, barbie goes shopping, and barbie goes to the beach. Each for $19.95. And Barbie gets divorced for $265.00."

Ralph asks, "Why does Divorced Barbie cost $265.00?"

"That's obvious" the saleslady says. "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture, Ken's money..."