Two condoms are walking down the street when they walk by a gay bar. One condom says to the other, "Hey man, you wanna get shit-faced?"

Whats the smallest kind of hotel?
A pussy cause you have to leave your bags out

So there's this dick and a cucumber and the dick and the cucumber are talking about who has it worse and the cucumber says to the dick I think I have it worse because I thrown into vinegar and left out to turn into a pickle and the dick says no I have it worse I get shoved into a dark place and get my head smashed against a wall until I throw up