Me: Hey Miss have you seen the clown that hides from gay people in Target?
Teacher:No I haven't
Me: Haha LOL
Teacher: Huh....... oh right that's funny detention at lunch.
Me: It was so worth it.

Friend:Who are we looking for? Me: We're finding Nemo. Friend:Then why are we looking around the school? We should be looking in the school toilets!

Me : So I just watched this film where a mans wife is brutally murdered by a serial killer and his son is left physically disabled. In a twisted turn of events his son is kidnapped and he has to chase the kidnapper thousands of miles with the help of a mentally disabled woman.

Friend : uhhhhhh

Friend : What was it called ?

Me: Finding Nemo

'Girls Night Out'

One night my girls invited me out. I promised my husband I'd be home by midnight. Hours passed and margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 AM (a bit loaded) I headed home. Just as I got in the cuckoo clock chimed 3 times. Afraid my hubby would wake I quickly cuckooed 9 more times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick witted solution. The next morning he asked what time I got in. I said "MIDNIGHT!" He seemed fine so I thought I'd gotten away with it. Then he said "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked why he said "Well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, said 'oh shit', cuckooed 4 times, cleared its throat, cuckooed 3 times again, giggled, cuckooed twice more, then tripped over the coffee table and farted."