I'm dressing as a democrat this Halloween. I'm going to take half of all the kids candy and give it to the kids who were too lazy to go trick-r-treating.

I'm sending the woman I'm dating a drawing of our wedding.
And on the other side of the page her funeral so she knows what her options are.

*goes online shopping*
*puts everything i want in a cart*
*checks subtotal*
*laughs and closes tab*

Man: Dear do you know that exams are like women? Woman: How funny? Man: Yes, they are tough to understand, complicated, lots of questions and the result is always doubtful.