Apparently if I don't forward a bit of chain mail I received, a dead woman will appear in my room at 1.AM. Guess who's getting laid tonight.

Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?
A: We're lawyers.

One sperm has 37.5MB of DNA information in it. This means a normal ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1587GB in 3 seconds... and you thought 4G was fast.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

Your best friend has three girlfriends. Their names are Doe, Ray, and Me.

All 3 want to do something special so they set up some dates.

Three days ago Doe kisses him.

Two days ago Ray gives him vaginal sex.

Yesterday, who sucks his dick?