Roses are tits
Violets are tits
I like tits
Tits?

Your mate. You look tired Me. Because me and you mum went all night

Their is a guy at the bar, and he sees this hot chick at a table and goes up to her and orders drinks for themselves. After a few drinks, the girl and guy head back to the guys place.



After the two are done making out, they girl gets completely undressed immediately. The guy however, takes off his shirt, washes his hands, takes off his pants and washes his hands, takes off his shoes and socks and washes his hands.



The girl then says "You must be a dentist" The guy reply's "Well, yeah I actually am a dentist, how did you know?" The girl then reply's "You wash you hands after every time you take your cloths off". They then have sex and after they are all done, the girl then says "You must be a really good dentist". The guy bragging then says "Well, yeah I guess I am a really good dentist, how did you know?" Then the girl says "I didn't feel a thing".

So, a kid happens to see his mom naked and asks, pointing to her vagina, "What is that?" The mom replies, "That is my house." She responds. A little while later the kid sees his dad naked and asks the same question. "Well, son, that is the Big Bad Wolf," responds the dad. Some time goes bye and the kid goes into his parents bedroom, while they are amidst sex. "Hey mom," pipes the kid, "watch out! I think the Big Bad Wolf just walked into your house and shot the piggie!"

Why do men snore when they lie on their backs?
It's because their balls afall over their butt-hole, which causes a vapor lock