Little Jonny thought he was the only one who kept secrets, so he asked his teacher. She said that everyone, even adults had secrets. So Little Jonny went up to his mom and told her he knew here secret, she gave him 20$ and told him not to tell his father. So then Little Jonny went up to his dad, and told him he knew his secret, his dad paid him 50$ and told him not to tell his mother. Little Jonny loving this, he's making tons of money, then he goes outside. The first person he sees is the mailman, Little Jonny says I know your secret. Then the mailman says really!? Come here son!

Me: I stopped a girl from getting raped today.
Friend: Really!? How?
Me: Self control bro, self control.

Once there was an horse.If someone rides on to it and says "Motherf*cker"than it runs like nobody can catch it and to stop it has to say "Bitch".

A man comes up there looking at the horse decides to get a ride so sits on it and says "motherf*cker" than he goes down the hill across the hill suddenly he realized that there was a cliff on the way immediately not stopped then he'll fall from the cliff.

With nervousness he forgets how to stop it somehow he remembers and stop it while the horse back two legs was only on the ground other two were hanging at the edge.

Takes a deep breath and says-Almost died Motherf*cker

It was a joke not a dick, don't take it so hard.

*me and my causin playing a game*
CAUSIN:how do you punch?
ME:why
causin:because i want to know!
me :why
causin:cause i want to be the best
me:why
causin:CAUSE I WANT TO BEAT YOU CUNT!!!
SO TELL ME WHAT BUTTON!!!
..............
ME:THE DAMN Y BUTTONN!!
causin:oh god...WHY!