All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

GIRL: baby, how much do you love me?
BOY: look up in the sky and count the stars. That's how much
GIRL: awwww *looks up at sky*
but it's morning.
BOY: EXACTLY!!! >:-D

How was the underwear model fired?
He was debriefed.

A United States Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend.

In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him.



To add injury to the insult, she said she wanted back the picture of herself that she had given him.



So the Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find.



In all, he got more than 25 pictures of various women (some with clothes and some without).



He then mailed them to his now-former girlfriend with the following note:



"I don't remember which one you are. Please remove your picture and send the rest back."