I would kick you straight in the vagina...

If I wasn't afraid of losing my shoe.

I hate it when pop ups say Do u want to play poker with professionals No I want to play with a spastic and hopefully a dimentid Llama

A beautiful woman walks into a doctor's office and the doctor is bowled off by how stunningly awesome she and his professionalism goes right through the window.
He tells her to take off her pants and starts rubbing her thigh, he asks her do you know what I'm doing? Yes she said, checking for abnormalities. He tell her to take off he bra and starts rubbing her boobs,he asks her do you know what I'm doing? Yes, she said checking for cancer. He tells her to take of her underwear and starts having sex. He tells her do you know what I'm doing? She said "Yes getting AIDS

There are two brothers, a younger one and an older one. They are both trouble makers and when anything bad happens in their neighbourhood they get the blame for it.

The mum got so annoyed when she heard about a man who made prisoners good she sent her sons to him, one at a time.

The younger one went to his house first. The man said "where is god". The little boy didn't answer so he said it louder "where is god" the boy started to cry and whimper in his chair. The man said it a lot lot louder, practically shouting it.

The boy was then found by his older brother hiding in his closet. The older brother said " what did he do to you?"

The little brother replied "gods gone missing and they think we've done it!"