There's 3 sons of a priest. They did some bad crimes. One day all of them have to drink holy water in their father's church. The first man walks up and the priest says '' What crime did you do? drink the holy water now '' he says he killed his mother. He drinks the water. The second comes up, the priest says the same thing. He says he killed his son. He drinks the water. The third comes up laughing, the priest says '' what crime did you do? '' he simply says '' i peed in the holy water ''

Two engineering nerds were walking across their college campus. One of them had a bike:

Nerd 1: Where did you get that bike, man; it looks pretty well made.

Nerd 2: Yesterday I saw a beautiful woman riding this bike in the park, and I winked at her. She came over, threw the bike down, took off her clothes, and said to me 'take what you want'.

Nerd 1: Wow, that's great! Wise choice too! I'm proud of you, dude.

Nerd 2: Why? It was a simple choice.

Nerd 1: Well, I thought it might have been pretty tempting.

Nerd 2: Not at all; I bet the clothes wouldn't have even fit me.