Whats the smallest kind of hotel?
A pussy cause you have to leave your bags out

So there's this dick and a cucumber and the dick and the cucumber are talking about who has it worse and the cucumber says to the dick I think I have it worse because I thrown into vinegar and left out to turn into a pickle and the dick says no I have it worse I get shoved into a dark place and get my head smashed against a wall until I throw up

A man gets his wallet and walks to the fornt door, his wife sees him and calls,
"baby where are you going?" he replies,
"a strip club with my mates"
she replies
"but baby I can strip for you for free"
he replies
"ok then" the husband goes on his phone and begins texting.
wife says,
"so are you telling them you aren't coming?"
He shakes his head and replies
"no I am bringing them over here"