What's the difference between a hare and a rabbit?

You can pull a hair out of your arse but not a rabbit

when you go to a party find the ugliest girl and when she starts to look hot, go home, alone

I hate when I’m on the treadmill and my hand accidentally hits the stop button & I have to get off and eat a bacon grilled cheese sandwich.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them.