why did the chicken cut his legs and wings of ? to make his dinner

A teacher has a class full of rednecks. She asks someone to use the word 'Timbuktu' in a story.
A scrawny kid in the back raises his hand and recites proudly:
Tim and me, a hikin' we went,
Till we found three whores in a pitch-up tent.
They were three and we were two;
So I buck one and Tim buck two!

You might be a redneck if your daughter's sweet sixteen is sponsored by Budweiser.

You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says no crack and it reminds you to pull your pants up.

You might be a redneck if you can move your house with your truck.

you might be a redneck if you think

duct tape is spelled duck tape

You might be a redneck if you think that anal sex is just an affordable form of birth control.

Being married is great, especially when your wife looks like your favorite country star. To make it even better, my friends wife looks like his favorite country star too. But one day the got into a cat fight at the mall and some one yells "Damn, Toby Keith is kicking Willie nelsons ass".

How do you get a redneck to the dinner table?

HEY THEY GOT BEER HERE!!

two rednecks were walking along when they saw a dog licking his balls, one said i wish i could do that!! the other said, you dumbass he would bite you!