Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:05:05 in Short  Favorites
What concert only costs 45 cent? 50cent plus nickel back
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:05:07 in Short  Favorites
I exercise by running up the street knocking on all the doors.
Jehovah's fitness.
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:05:08 in Short  Favorites
Ask someone to watch your bag for you. But don't actually leave it just stay there and stare at your bag with your new friend.
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:05:09 in Short  Favorites
Do you want to know Victoria's Secret? Their lingerie doesn't look the same on your wife as it does on their models.
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:05:10 in Short  Favorites
Dad: ”Excuse me waitress, I ordered this filet medium-rare and this is clearly a peanut butter and jelly”

Mom: ”Did you just call me waitress?”
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:05:10 in Short  Favorites
The best 2 days of school:
The first day
The last day
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:05:12 in Short  Favorites
Me; what are the 3 most used in america??
Friend; I Love You??
Me; no... Made in China
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:05:12 in Short  Favorites
Two men both drag their right foot as they walk.



As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969."



The other points his thumb behind him and says, "Dog crap, 20 feet back."
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:05:14 in Short  Favorites
I normally struggle with my laziness. should I sit down and do nothing, or lie down and do nothing.
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Uploaded on 2014.01.06 02:05:15 in Short  Favorites
The most annoying people are those that are in exceptionally good shape at the gym. I'm like, "What are you doing here? You're done.."
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