We call her "magnet" because she attractive from the back and repulsive from the front.

That awkward moment your boss catches you answering phones with a British accent when your bored..

Some patients are going to die, & you have to learn to accept that. It's just part of being a dentist.

If the zombie apocalypse happens in Vegas... will it stay in Vegas?

Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?

How come the glue dosent stick to the inside of the bottle?

There are 364 days until Christmas and people already have their Christmas lights up. Unbelievable...

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well he actually said "less McDonald's" but I'm pretty sure I know what he meant.

Sometimes I text and drive. I know it's dangerous, but I do stupid things when I'm drunk.

LMAO means Lick My Anal Opening. You're welcome.