For all you mothers out there today, remember that you have high school tomorrow, so don't stay up too late.

"I bet you a dollar you wont give me a dollar"

I'd take Cap'n Crunch more seriously if his eyebrows weren't on his hat.

You guys really need to stop judging people that breast feed in public. I can raise my puppy however I want.

If I ever need a brain transplant, I'd choose yours because I'd want a brain that had never been used.

My life would be easier if I had a penis and testicles instead of a vagina and feelings.

You know your joke is stupid if you rate your own joke kickass

I like my women like I like my salsa, Hot and Chunky

I don't understand why Wal-mart has a problem with people bringing their dogs in the store. Dogs are better behaved, smell better, and are a lot less likely to take a crap on the floor than 95% of the people there.

What if lollipops moaned when you licked them?