B*tch that smile is as fake as ur tits.

For anything that I said or did last night, I plead the fifth...
...of vodka.

So I made the decision that after no shave November I'm gonna grow a Decembeard and ride that into Janu-hairy and Febu-hairy.

Dora thinks she's cute showing off her belly button! Slut.

I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I can't listen to myself, I'm drunk

Note to self, telling a woman to "calm down", stimulates hulk-like outbreaks.

If you watch Cinderella backwards, it's about a woman her learns her place.

If Wal-mart sells belts, why do I see so many butt cracks?

Those kids in the Trix commercials were real jerks. Why couldn’t they just share their cereal with the rabbit?

roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers the middle 1 is for you.