Random Idiot: Spell ICUP
Me: I C U P Blood. You should get that checked out, you might have aids.

Person: This is seat is so hard!
Me: So is my dick, but your mum didn't complain when she sat on it.

Me: how does it feel to be born on the highway
Friend: what???
Me: well isn't that were accidents happen

tell your mom to stop wearing blue lipstick she makes my dick look like a smurf

Boy: Which direction did the 5 gay guys walk
Girl: idk get 5 of your friends and walk in that direction

man* haven't we met before?
woman* Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD clinic

Teacher: Your behaviour is unacceptable.
You: Your face is unacceptable.

you know the small dots on your balls, it's your sperm cells trying to escape because they dont want to make another you

Douche: Hey queer
Me: Sorry I couldn't hear you with all that dick in your mouth...

A person:Everyone thinks you are weird
Me:Bitch,i'm unique