Sorry i can't understand you when your choking on a dick, faggot. )'.'(

(Mom playing with her child)
Mom-Got your nose!!!!!
Kid- Bitch If u got my nose then how the f*ck am i still breathing?

How many gallons of semen did you have to swallow to get that stupid???

*texting a friend*
Me: Hey what's up?
Friend: NOthiNg MucH.
Me: Um, ok. Did you hear about the new kid?
Friend: YeAH hE's iN mY sEcoND HoUr.
Me: dude, I think your cap locks is having a seizure.
Friend: nO iT'S nOt.
Me: Check again, and this time actually look at your phone, not your dick. It's never gonna grow long enough.

Bully:you got a messed up hairline you:yo mama's pussy got a messed up hairline

you mustve been born on a motorway cuz thats where most accidents happen

Annoying guy: you failed

Me: your dad. Didn't when he left you and your mom

Cool dude: Your face is so aggressive to my eyes!
Nerd: You're lucky that you have eyes!
Class:oooooohhhhhhhh! Burn!

If you were homework, I would do you on a table.

If I had to rate you from 1-10 I would rate you as a 9 because I am the one that you are missing