Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on.

Never trust atoms, they make up everything.

There are plenty of fish in the sea but until I catch one I'm just stuck here holding my rod...

Stop it with the gay jokes, cum on guys.

Is google a woman?

Because it won't let you finish your sentence without coming up with other suggestions.

Once I found out masturbating was an addiction, I just knew that I had no choice but to beat it.

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles.
My next crap could spell disaster.

I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory.
All I did was take a day off.

I was wondering why that Frisbee was getting bigger.

Then it hit me...