It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

The good thing about dating a blind girl is that you don't have to worry about her seeing anybody.

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth, then it just becomes a soap opera.

It was hard getting over my addiction to hokey pokey, but I've turned myself around.

want to hear a construction joke?
I'm working on it

I always take a second pair of pants when I go golfing... in case I get a hole in one.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

Velcro - what a rip-off!

What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?
White vans

Why can't a bike stand on it's own?
Because it is two tired.