When I think of books, I touch my shelf.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

What did the remote say to the TV?

You turn me on.

Gay jokes are so overused, butt fuck it.

The duck police officer says to the duck drug dealer hand over the quack

I was going to tell you a poop joke, but it didn't come out right!

I'm going to buy some velcro for my shoes instead of laces. Why knot?

The outcome of war does not prove who is right, but only who is left.

Stop with the blind jokes...I dont see their point

The scare crow got promoted to the manager at a supermarket, because he was outstanding in his field