I was wondering why the ball was flying towards my face...

...and then it hit me....

My weed problem is it the bag.

I had a friend who was addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.

Me: Hey Miss have you seen the clown that hides from gay people in Target?
Teacher:No I haven't
Me: Haha LOL
Teacher: Huh....... oh right that's funny detention at lunch.
Me: It was so worth it.

What if it doesn't want to be called hot sauce? What if it wants to be called beautiful sauce?

I was going to make a 'third reich' joke, but now is not 'zee time.

How was the underwear model fired?
He was debriefed.

PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

the crazy man couldn't get through forest so he went through the psychopath

first guy: I was seeing this really beautiful woman for about 3 weeksl
second guy:what happened?
first guy: my binoculars broke.