friend: your racist me: i'm not racist because racisms a crime and crime is for black people

what is the similarities between a black girl, and a tornado?
they both suck, blow, and leave you homeless!

Me: "Here comes the airplane!"
Baby: *Opens mouth*
Me: "OH NO!!! It's the Taliban!" *Hits baby in the forehead with the spoon.* "KA-BOOM"

A Mexican, white guy, and a black guy all go to hell and the devil told them that if they can walk across his hand without burning in flames, then he will give them a second life on earth.
The white guy was really confident....first step, he caught a fire a disappeared.
The Mexican, nervously toke the first step and noticed that he wasn't dead, he took a couple more steps and disappeared.
The black guy started walking and made it all the way across without burning to flames.
Satan was shocked and asked him how he did it and the black guy replied "chocolate melts in your mouth not your hands"

I saw a black guy running with a new blu-ray player, and it looked just like mine.

So I called my wife, but it turned out ours was still at home picking cotton.

How do you caculate the population of Russia? You roll a bottle of vodka down the street.

" I freaking HATE racist people!.... And black people. "

Black friend: "I got a new black hoodie!"
You: "Great, now no one will see you..."

Whats long and black?



The unemployment line.

What do u say when u see a tv floating in a dark room drop it nigga!!!