They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.

Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass.

At Night.

Before going to bed, the Boogeyman always checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

2 cowboys and Chuck Norris were sitting at a campfire, while arguing who was the manliest.
Cowboy 1: I'm manlier, i killed a bull by punching away before it charged at me!
Coqboy 2: I'm manlier because i fought off an entire indian tribe worh my bare hands!
Chucks just chuckled at them, and continues to stoke the fire with his penis.

Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra ....

After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra

Eventually died

Chuck Norris isn't even that great. If he was so great, he would come up behind me right now and slam my head on the keybswuhowdbfoecn ejefj cjehcefj.

Chuck Norris took the 5 o'clock train home...

He refuses to give it back.

Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade you have ever tasted

If you rate this kickass Chuck Norris will give you punching lessons if you rate lame he will tell you excactly opposite way to punch. Kicking added kickassing added.