The moon is part of Chuck Norris's rock collection.

Chuck Norris knows who let the dogs out.

Chuck Norris can shoplift off ebay

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this mans blindness. Sadly, the only thing this man ever saw was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can make up true stories.

Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter

Chuck Norris once had sex with a prostitute in the back of a semi-truck and some of his man juice seaped into the fabric fibers...that truck is now known as optimus prime!

Chuck Norris went to the virgin islands once
They are now called the Islands

When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars need to check both ways.

Chuck Norris hands life lemons