What did the remote say to the TV?
You turn me on.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
When I think of books, I touch my shelf.
I used to go fishing with Skrillex, but they kept dropping the bass.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
Why is gay marriage an issue? Because people are f*cking assholes.
I can hear music coming out of my printer.
I think the paper's jammin' again.
When you're walking into the bathroom you're American.
When you're walking out of the bathroom you're American.
What are you when you're inside the bathroom?
Where do TVs go on vacation?
To remote islands!
If women from the south are called southern belles, are women from Mexico called taco bells?